I was named Craig when I was born 47 (gulp!) years ago, and that’s been my name ever since. When I first started accepting my feminine side I decided to give her a name. My mum had said that if I had been a girl I’d have been called Katie, so I just mixed that up a bit, and retained my first initial. (I’ve given myself the “professional” surname of Pepper which came from an imaginary friend I had as a child, called Grandma Pepper. She used to live in the wall of my house and I gave her a ride around in the trailer of my ride-on tractor…)
For 21 months now, I’ve been going by the name Catie on Twitter, Instagram and here on this blog, and I’ve come to be accepted and accepting of the name. I’m happy being Catie, it makes me smile when people call me that (even if only in tweets).
My issue comes with wanting to be accepted in real life by my friends and family, who all know me as Craig. I feel that if I’m ever going to come out, however suddenly or gradually, then I’d probably still be known as Craig, as I’m not quite ready to give up that person who I’ve lived with for 47 years.
I don’t even know if I’d be comfortable with, “Hi, I’m Craig, but at weekends I’m Catie,” because that all sounds a bit ’70s transvestite and besides, I’m not just Catie at the weekends, I’m Catie everyday, whether I’m in girl mode or not… I accept that my gender fluidity is very much a sliding scale, with Craig at the boy end and Catie at the girl end, but it’s rare that I’m jammed at either end, jut floating around.
Should I change my name depending on how I’m presenting? Or should Catie be my alter ego, as Claire is Grayson Perry’s? Is Catie a character that I’m playing, or is she me?
Being non-binary isn’t exactly black and white, so there’s no hard line, no clear division. It’s not like I’m saying, “I’m trans, so my name is now Catie and I’ll be solely wearing dresses and heels.” So, should I just be C? Or Cee? Something in-between that’s neither one nor the other? And pronouns? No idea…
Positively Catie 
Hey Catie, what a question. My male name is a lot different to my female name and apart from Mistress it has hardly got used outside. When my boobs were done I was called Miss and Lucy which felt a bit different. Some of my family have asked how I wanted referring to. It’s quite difficult really, I am transgender, at least I don’t think I am so referring to myself in the female gender publicly seems strange, however if I buy online I use Lucy. And I have even wondered if I could get a bank account under the name Lucy, however to my wife I will always be her P and that’s who she married and that’s how she accepts me.
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