Yesterday I went out in Lakeside Shopping Centre in full Girl Mode and it was amazing. Terrifying and nerve-wracking, but amazing!
It required military precision. With my wife at home I wasn’t able to get dressed before I left for the shops, so I had to make sure I had everything with me. Thankfully, the majority of my girl clothes and makeup are kept in a holdall in the boot of my car, so I only had to make sure the boots I wanted to wear were in there. My wife went out by herself a couple of days ago so I took that opportunity to put them in the boot.
I’d decided that I wanted to wear a skirt I’d seen in Primark, so I had to go and buy that before anything else. Once I’d got that (mild panic when I couldn’t find my size…) I retreated to the toilets to put on underwear, tights and a red long-sleeved bodysuit that I’d got from Boohoo a couple of days before, and also check that the skirt fitted! Back on with jeans and my zip-up hoodie and back to the car!
In the car I attempted to put on some eye makeup – I fudged some kohl eyeliner, a bit of eyeshadow and lots of mascara – put on a new necklace (also from Boohoo) and wriggled into the skirt. Laced up the boots and I was ready, except for a thumping case of nerves. Would I actually get out of the car?
I had to go. I couldn’t get that far and not go through with it. I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to walk in those heels, but once I started going it was fine. I’ve worn heels a lot, but only ever around the house and have never ventured much further than the bedroom, and now I was planning to walk the entire length of Lakeside and back again?
What would people think? Would they stare? Would they laugh? No. They wouldn’t. Most people ignored me. A couple of people looked me up and down, but I choose to think they were admiring/questioning my outfit rather than thinking “Why is that bloke wearing a skirt and boots he can’t walk in?”
I was off, strutting through House of Fraser, and into the mall! Stopping occasionally to take the odd selfie and video, I felt amazing. I was actually doing it! Out in the world in full, no holds barred Girl Mode!
After a while of walking, my feet were starting to hurt, like my toes were all being piled up in the front of my boots, so I ducked into a few shops to browse and just take a while to enjoy myself, to feel the liberation of wearing a skirt and feel it swish around my legs.
I tackled escalators, lifts and even spoke to someone! (OK, she actually said, “Sorry,” to me as she didn’t realise she was blocking my way and I said “That’s OK!”, so it wasn’t like I was having a full-on discussion about Satre…) It had occurred to me to pretend to be foreign if anyone started on at me, but thankfully that wasn’t needed!
And so, exhausted and exhilarated I made my way back to the car. Had a moment of panic when I realised I was walking into a car park with a pair of “lads”, but they didn’t even notice me…
I sat in my car and slowly changed back into boy clothes, removed my eye makeup and wondered how I was going to wash the damp bodysuit…
I was exhausted for the rest of the day, and I still feel tired today. I’m really pleased I did it, I would definitely do it again, but next time I want to actually enjoy it, rather than see it as a challenge to overcome. I’m thinking to wear an easier outfit, flatter boots, maybe?
I’m not sure full Girl Mode is something I would do every time, but it’s great to have that option. I think I’d rather go GenderBlur™, mix up the skirt with DMs and a white t-shirt, or wear my black kilt with my pink fluffy jumper. Or just a long dress and boots. Always boots, though…
My next outing will be on Halloween… I have an outfit planned to wear at work, so that will be more challenge…
Watch this space!
Positively Catie 